Afraid

[glenatron]

Back to the fracture clinic tomorrow. I expect them to say I need surgery for this break. I'm terrified of going under the knife, terrified of going under General Anaesthetic, but everything people have said suggests this is what needs to be done. Its not really a rational fear, except that these things, even when routine, are not entirely safe, but really I know it is my inner control freak combining with my fear of the unknown and terror of death. This will not be easy for me mentally. Not at all. I am not brave.

I guess I just need to man the hell up and deal with it. Wish it was that easy.

Comments

[foalstory.livejournal.com]

does NOT sound fun -- but healing is good in the end! good luck.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Surgery is scary, and it does carry risks, and it's hard to be impartial about stuff like that when it's someone you love or, y'know, _you_ going under the knife.

But it is a good thing to be able to regain what range of motion one can. And so.

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

Also: Being a cyborg.

[dancing-crow.livejournal.com]

range of motion is good, worrying is hard

none of it is easy, I don't think

[spirithorse21.livejournal.com]

It is scary and a touch decision based on the fact that many people do fine with the plate. However, I can tell you that taking the easier route does not always yield good long-term results. When the muscle in my back was torn completely off the shoulder blade, I should have had surgery. I did not. Now my shoulders are permanently uneven and cause me pain on a nearly daily basis. No amount of therapy or chiro work can make it 100%, only make it tolerable.

Still, it's a hard decision. *hugs*

[littlesnowy.livejournal.com]

It's not as scary when your actually in there and speaking to people and you find out that they're proffessional clever people who have done this lots of times before. They're also used to dealing with worried or scared people. Bearing in mind this is me remembering having my appendix out when I was 11.

Take care.

[gnapp.livejournal.com]

Good luck! And bear in mind that if this surgery can help you continue working with horses with no movement restraints, then it's worth it. (But I'm glad I haven't had to do that - I understand your fear...)

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

less movement restraints and less likely to break again if I fall on it - I think if it heals wonky there is a raised chance that landing on it again - even quite lightly - could land one right back here...

[fleefloodle.livejournal.com]

I think being scared is perfectly legitimate, we'd all be concerned for your sanity if you weren't! If not having the surgery is going to severely limit your motion then it's probably worth it.

Good luck!

[gemmabowles.livejournal.com]

man up.

and also, perhaps only think of it a second at a time? ''ok, im at the doctors''. end of thought train. ''ok, im being injected''. end of thoughts. ''ok, im falling alseep'' end of thoughts. then, you wake up. yay!

[harnessphoto.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs*

[horsearcher.livejournal.com]

You'll be fine. ::gentle hugs:: Take care and heal quickly.

[stu-the-elder.livejournal.com]

The last time you were 'unconscious' at the LT, the worst thing that happened was that Glenatron had changed into Glendatron, courtesy of lipstick.

Clearly the worst that can happen here is that you will wake up a pretty lady.

Clearly.

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

No the last time I was unconscious at the LT I had been kidnapped by enemy assassins while going to retrieve a guitar from a building 20 metres from where we were playing and all my comrades had given up on me for dead. They didn't even bother raising the alarm.

Dicks.

[shiva-matimbres.livejournal.com]

I think in hospitals they are better at noticing things than those bastards...

...um I'm pretty sure we were at least a *bit* worried, does that help?

Also: taking steps into a cyborg future is bound to be scary, but remember YOU'LL BE A CYBORG!

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

They shall call me The Titanium Titan! Resistance will be futile!

[stu-the-elder.livejournal.com]

Well, it's either a pretty lady or that.. I'd pick the pretty lady if I were you.

[life-of-tom.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure suggesting that they'll tack on a sex change during the operation is a good way to make Ben relax, Stu.

[z111.livejournal.com]

Oof! Just catching up!