An absent friend

[glenatron]

Things change quickly and a whole lot of them have changed over the last year.

I still miss Othello deeply and I suppose that I always will but the lessons he taught me and the direction he gave me are things I use every day, very much alive and at the foundation of the person I am and the person I will be.

I still choke up when I think back to that night- curled up on the bed in a stinking Canadian hotel room, ugly with tears and wracked with grief, trying to somehow reach out across the thousands of miles between us and beg my pony not to die while sleepsy_mouse held things together and stayed in touch with our friend who was looking after him and with the vet, a job I don't think I would have been capable of at the time.

Things change quickly with a crisis like that to trigger them and a big part of his legacy was my realisation that I belong to horses now and that the music that had been such a massive part of my life for so long was going to have to step aside and let them take centre stage. That change is still gaining momentum as I start grow into my riding and my horsemanship, and I honestly don't know where it will take us or how, but already the journey has been a tremendous adventure. Of course, I wish he could have been able to stay around for longer so we could have enjoyed a little more travelling together but that choice wasn't mine to make. Instead I have become more conscious of the choices I do have and tried to do everything I can to make the best of them while they are available to me.

Comments

[spoondog.livejournal.com]

X

[gemmabowles.livejournal.com]

many hugs xx

[tempusxfugit.livejournal.com]

Good song. x]

That's the only thing about horses. They're such good friends. And when we lose them, it's just as painful. Does the pain ever go away completely? Probably not. But it will get better.

[life-of-tom.livejournal.com]

Dude. Harsh. I felt so bad for you that day...

[z111.livejournal.com]

Did you used to be a musician?

I worry about my horses growing old, dying, becoming unrideable...it's scary how fragile this big animals can be.

*hugs*

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

I did indeed. I played bass for a band called Sequoia (http://www.myspace.com/sequoiatheband) from 2003-2007. It was a pretty big deal at the time. If you're on one of the digital services you may even be able to find an album called "Ebb & Flow" which I played on.

These days I'm pretending to be a guitarist, which is a lot like a musician only less work because I get to hang out with my awesome friends Stu and Jena and play acoustic stuff. Of which more soon, as we have recently got a bunch of recording finished and as soon as we've mixed and mastered it I'll doubtless tell everyone I can think of.

[z111.livejournal.com]

Sequoia is quite good! I hadn't heard of them here in the States. Where you guys big in the UK? (ooooh, I know a rock star!!)

Did you "give up" music for horses??

[glenatron.livejournal.com]

We weren't big- though we did some pretty cool gigs I don't believe we ever made a profit. We did do proper records on proper release and get them played on the radio and stuff, so that was pretty cool.

I think they are doing alright in Italy at the moment.

I did basically give up music in that way, although I will always play, and I did it because Othello showed me that I cared about horses so much more and I didn't want to be spending half my weekends and evenings traipsing round the country for gigs when I could be with my horse.

[skye-ds.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
*horsey nuzzles*
*Arthurbird sugars*

[harnessphoto.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[skiesfirepaved.livejournal.com]

*offers many hairy pony hugs*

[ownedbyhorses.livejournal.com]

G~ I read this a few days back but wasn't prepared to post anything. It made me cry and lament over my own loss. Life is so sweet and short. Horses are precious in the love they give us. Wishing you the strength of heart to manage the pain and know you did all you could. Unfortunately, the strength of our love is nothing against the sword of death. There is nothing taht can make us more helpless then be unable to pass on our own strength and turn back the tide. However, love can carry us through to the other side. Best wishes remembering old friends, and holding our own today.